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No new stove yet. The repairman turned out to be a apos;phobe who wanted out of our place as quick as possible. He looked at the stove for 2 minutes, claimed he didnapos;t have the part we needed, and didnapos;t bother to try and troubleshoot it. If it wuz just me, Iapos;dapos;ve lodged a complaint, but Iapos;ll leave that up to the SO. Not like Minnegasco doesnapos;t have our ApplianceCare money already... :-/

So, now we have to figure that out. Do we live with what weapos;ve got, or do we scrape together the money to replace the stove? SO is leaning towards finding a replacement, but Iapos;m rather firmly of the opinion not to dither, whatever he decides, but dithering is his specialty. So. Sigh.

The weekend itself went well. The wedding went off with fewer hiccups than usual for such things. Only 10 minutes late, only one drunken guest, and the whole shebang was over and done with by 6:00. Dinner I was a success. Dinner II, with the Atons, also went well. The restaurant split the bill by tables, and lo and behold, everyone else at my table wanted to pay in cash. I gathered up the dough, counted it out, added in our contribution, and lo, we were within $1.00 So I handed over my credit card, and stuffed the cash in an envelope for when the bill lands.

Sunday was a rest day, and blessedly needed. I lounged, napped, read, took a bath, walked outside, rested some more, etc., et glorious al. Went to bed early, slept fairly well, and went to work. Work itself went tolerably well. Dealt with the latest Political FrouFrou with a minimum of fuss, and the rest of the day was "as usual".

So, thatapos;s the roundup. Almost time for Heroes

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I was sitting there.... Doing somthing.
All of a sudden, I felt the sharpest pain go through my body...
starting at my head.

The pain started to fade away as i tombled over and could not move..
I fell of my chair onto the ground.
I tumbled over even move... I could not even lift a finger.

I knocticed everyone around me not see what has happened.
A women ran to my resue.
Only to find I had no pulse.

I had been shot in the head.
But how was i dead and still knotced everyone around me?

But no one could see me...
I was dead

I went to my house.
I saw my baby on my step momapos;s lap.
He looked so sad, it was unreal.

I balled my eyes out.
THey didnt knotice i was there.
I have never cryed so hard in my life.

I knew I could never hold my little baby again.
Because I was dead.

I tried to touch him.
NOthiong happened.
He didnt see me,
he didnt feel me.

I cryed even harder
that my hole body ached.

I just wanted to say goodbye.
To hold my little guy for the last time.
To kiss him, to say I Love you
.....for the last time.

But i couldnapos;t.

I notcied that i could touch objects though.
I found somthing and threw it.
Just so they would know i was there.

MY step mom saw the object fly.
She yelled my name
"AMBER??"

I found some objects i could spell letters with.

"YES" i wrote.
SHe was asking me questions
I was still balling my eyes out trying to yell back
But she couldnt hear me.

She could only see what i spelled out...
...



So i went to see my sister..
To see how she was doing.
To say good bye for the last time.

I went in her room,
She was lying on her bed
Crying....
Wishing i was there..


I cryed more,
I didnt get to say goodbye.
I tryed to get her attention...
but nothing happened.

I through objects in the air.
To see if she would knotice.

See did.
and she knew i was trying to tell her somthing





....

I�have relized that you can loose everyone in your life. And not get to say good bye to anyone.
Donapos;t take nobdy for granted...
Someday you will loose them, and do nothing but cry

�

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drink headed mixed red slut

I happen to know, from experience and from not being superficial, (and from the BIBLE) that the opinions of the masses.... I.e. Society, "other people," people I donapos;t know, the status quo...

Their opinions do not affect me, nor do they matter. That is not where my value lies, and it is not my source of decision-making. They are not the people I aim to please, in my daily life.

The sad thing is, I didnapos;t learn that from my mother.

The sadder thing is, I have tried the majority of my life to get my mother to see that, but she STILL relies on the approval of society to decide her own personal worth.

I canapos;t describe how frustrating that is.

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Christmas floorset this week. 6:00am sunday through friday, except for monday because i have it off.
itapos;s exciting, yet stressful.

maybe a trip to sonic tomorrow? my first ever sonic experience

a grandma bitched at me on saturday. WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT A FUCKING MUSIC VOLUME, SO STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING, PEOPLE i was in such a bad mood, but i somehow managed to keep myself calm and explain to her nicely about our policies. I said, "i can give you a customer service card, if youapos;d like." she replied hastily, "you do whatever you got to do." uhm...okay? then the ornery old grandma pays with a check. Seriously people, get a fucking check card. It takes so long to process a check because we have to scan it [and that doesnapos;t work half the time, which takes even longer] and then we need your license to put in all your information and then we have to put the check back through to print out the transaction and then again to void it out. So i asked her to sign verifying that we have an automatic check system that will void your check out and we give it back to you. So i give her the fake pen thing, she signs and then throws it back at me. Luckily i was at a register where the fake pen is actually attached by a cord to the credit card swiper-thing. I miraculously remained calm. [i had just been super rushed and working the registers alone and dealing with issues, so i was ready to cry, which is why i was able to remain calm]. Meanwhile the lady is holding her hands against her ears and has her head down. So i ask if she wants the receipt with her or in the bad and she angrily asks for my district card to call and complain. So i gave her a customer service card and was friendly about the whole thing. She said the music was offensive because it was so loud. I DONapos;T FUCKING CARE. OUT MUSIC IS AT A PRE-SET VOLUME AND WE CANNOT DO A THING ABOUT IT itapos;s so annoying to constantly be explaining this to customers on an hourly basis. I wish hollister would fucking change the music level because it is super obnoxious and iapos;m sick of dealing with bitchy customers solely due to our music level. So saturday was not good.

andy has a skate competition today and i am super excited for him i hope he wins.
oh yeah, heapos;s sponsored by monster energy drink =) [iapos;m with a skater boy...]

i ordered a super cute coat from delias today. So excited.

i saw bill maherapos;s movie, religulous, on friday. Fucking amazing. I wish more people would wake up and stop believing in the invisible product, as bill maher so aptly puts it. It was really good and really funny. I highly recommend it.
religion is so not my thing, but if others want to believe in it, than thatapos;s fine for them. Just donapos;t push it on me and you should certainly not base your POLITICAL beliefs around religion. Stupidest thing ever, ever.

i may go to ann arbor this weekend. It would be my first time going to hang out with a friend and party...and iapos;ve already graduated college. Iapos;ve gone with andy a few times when he recorded his music and such, but we never went out when we were there. And we never stayed overnight. But iapos;ll have to see how this 6:00am thing goes all week long, because thereapos;s a good possibility i will be in a complete coma by 4:00pm on friday.

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A little over 6 years ago, while walking out of (what was then named) the Fleet Center, I remember thinking to myself, "That was without a doubt the best game Iapos;ve ever seen." It was the type of game that you always hear about, the ones that everyone claims they were at. The Celtics had just beat the Nets. It was the Eastern Conference Finals. The referees were calling a bullshit series. It was the first good Celtics team since I was 12 years old. And the Celts had just come back to win the game after being down 27 points in the 4th quarter, an NBA playoff record. I lost my voice cheering. My hands were swollen from pounding on the wall behind me after losing my voice, you know, because I was sitting in the last row of the gym with 7 of my high school buddies and we could not believe what the hell we had just seen. Still canapos;t.

I also canapos;t believe what Iapos;m about to type, but that is now the second best game Iapos;ve ever seen. Thursday night (Friday morning at this point), while walking out of Fenway Park, I had that very same thought. Another record playoff comeback, but this time while facing ELIMINATION After looking absolutely lifeless for 2 1/2 games to boot

Granted a few things have changed over the years, this was a near-dynasty Sox team, not an upstart Celtics squad. I didnapos;t drink a drop of booze, because it was a work night. I was sitting in corporate seats a row above the Sox dugout. Other than that, it felt exactly the same: magical, exilhirating, you get the idea. I guess the point is that there arenapos;t many things that make my happier than my teams, no matter the circumstances. Iapos;ve never had season tickets, and I donapos;t go to that many games a year, maybe 6-8 total. So maybe itapos;s the shock, or who knows, but Iapos;m just so thankful and love following these guys. Other things in my life have changed, come and gone, but this remains the same. Whether itapos;s on some couch, a barstool, or in the front row, there isnapos;t too much I enjoy more.

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Apparently my Sixth Form wants to kick me out?
Cocksuckers

I havenapos;t done anything wrong So whaaat I wear a hoodie and tshirt instead of a collared shirt, so whaat that i donapos;t like to stand up infront of the class and give presentations, because iapos;m not secure with myself. So what that iapos;ve only not handed in just one piece of homework. They arenapos;t reasonable reasons to kick me out
I do the work in class, iapos;ve been working hard all this week on my homework, and im scoring pretty well on the tests. They need to stfu.
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astronomical body

I am starting to catch up on sleep.

Itapos;s a funny way to put it.

I had the conversation with someone new on the weekend, he asked me.

"Have you tried just closing your eyes?"

Is that what itapos;s like for you people? Is sleep that easy for everyone else?

Iapos;m invited to be part of a medium term workshop with the Woolcock Institute, for the nominal fee of $800

I shant be attending. Not this round anyway.

Iapos;m sending off emails tonight to confirm all the classes i *can* afford, and Liz honey are we still on for Monday?

The Sophronia style of holistic career progression is well underway.

Iapos;ve applied for the Dr Sketchyapos;s modelling thingy and a sub-editors course at UTS. I have some drama workshops in December and still need to get opn with this violin thing. Although - i wonder if itapos;s worth it. I tried playing a mates violin, and itapos;s still not the cello. I wonder if i should spare myself the drama of the violin - which iapos;m doubting will be so easy anyway and just save up for a cello. Certainly a cello is nicer to hear when learning and my housemates might appreciate that...

I have the first of my splurges next weekend. Anatomy Titus at the Opera House. Since i was considering a Tamora peice as a shakespeare-up-my-sleeve itapos;s well timed. - oh and i even have a lovely new dress to wear

( incidentally the Woolcock learn to sleep thing was after my redundancy payout was all allocated away. )

I was hoping for picking out about 4 audition monologues for regular use. I saw the Westie Monologues years ago and would seriously love to get my hands on a script. Does anyone know where to find one? Iapos;m having zilch luck on google. Should i try and contact the playwright and ask nicely?

Incidentally, i bought gorgeous golden sandals for a fancy dress party and they gave me TWO RIGHT SHOES I am utterly furious, it didnapos;t kill the costume, but it really pissed me off. I will be making this known to the shop keeper.

Thanks for listening. Iapos;m off to get a kebab. Then get more sleep.

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I know the importance of being careful of what one wishes for, really I do. But thatapos;s not stopping me from wishing that I had, oh, about a week before Saturday morning. A week without any additional deadlines or projects being added to the schedule. apos;Cause if I had a week, I could get done, oh, maybe 5-10 of the stuff thatapos;s piled up on my "really wanted that done by now" list.

The next few weeks should be more manageable. Of course, I thought that was going to be true of the last two weeks, so Iapos;m not placing any bets.

I will, however, be dog-sitting, and that will be good on the "move more" front. It will also get me outdoors, which is a lovely place to be this time of year. Everythingapos;s golden, with leaves falling and fallen. Crunch, crunch.

Onward.

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Hold the onions, peppers and mustard. Otherwise I�could have easily beaten this guy right now. I�would have looked better doing it too.

Brad Sciullo of Uniontown, Pa., is seen eating a 15-pound cheese burger with five-pounds of toppings including bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of ketchup, mustard, relish, and mayonnaise at Dennyapos;s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Pa., Monday, Oct. 13, 2008. Sciullo finished the concoction in 4 hours and 39 minutes.

(AP Photo/Logan Cramer, Dennyapos;s Beer Barrel Pub)




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